Building Lasting Relationships

I am guilty of this but I'll still say what I have to say about this topic. Relationships don't grow on their own. It takes your energy and effort to grow and maintain a relationship. I'll be sharing a few tips to building better relationships. But, please take note that the relationship I'm talking about the not the typical boy/girlfriend or fiancee/fiance relationship. As against what most people believe, that is not what I am talking about. The kind of relationship I am talking about is your general attitude and behaviour towards everybody and everything, yes everything. It could be to your friend, a stranger, colleague at work or in school etc.

First, know thyself and the person you want to bond with. You can't just want to be friends with anybody. Like attracts like. you can't be a Sanguine and move around with a Phlegmatic. It works for some people but know yourself. What applies to A may not apply to B. As the saying goes, one man's meat is another man's poison. So know what works for you and the best person who can absorb these things.

Secondly, you should also important to note that building a relationship is a process, it takes time. You can't just wake up one morning and say you know someone so well to call him/her your best friend when you just met the previous week. life doesn't work that way. Building a relationship is a process, a gradual process.

Thirdly, if the relationship is not meant to be don't force it. Que Sera Sera, what will be will be. You should never force someone to be your friend. Never! If you were destined to be friends, trust me it will happen. Some people just have this mentality of, 'You must like me by force', 'You must be my friend', 'We just have to be friends, whether you like it or not'. Friendship is not by force, neither is a romantic relationship.

Lastly, play your part and don't forget to smile. it can go a long way in affecting your friend's life. you never can tell if the person is down spirited and your smile just does the magic.

I know this is quite short but I also want to believe a word is enough for the wise.
Have a most beautiful day!

Comments

Dear Friend,

On this day last year, I wrote about the buildup of events that led to my dad’s passing. I also said that day started the most chaotic year of my life. I didn’t lie. Today, on the second anniversary of his death, I thought to write to you about grief and how I have dealt with it because, in truth, grief does not leave you; it just gets better. Over the past year, across my social media platforms, I talked a lot about how his death triggered emotions in me that I didn't know existed—new descents into the deep, new levels of highs—anything to get into my emotions or consciously get out of the physically overwhelming feeling that was like a weighted blanket most days. Because I lived quite far from home—up north, to be exact—my guardians broke the news to me at the crack of dawn that Tuesday, and I was broken, as anyone who hears bad news is. I was stumped mostly, but yeah, I was broken. The first person I called was my mom, and on answering the phone, she started to say my oriki , w

2018- So Much For A New Year

December 31st, 2017. The time is 10:15. My Mum, brother and I are waiting for a couple of minutes to pass by before going to the church just beside my house for the annual cross over service into 2018. My Mum’s phone rings. I pick it up and see that it’s my Aunty. ‘Oh she has even called several times. How didn’t we hear?’ I muttered to myself in Yoruba, my native language. I hurriedly make my way to my Mum’s room to give the phone to her. ‘Mummy’, I say softly a couple of times before giving her the phone. ‘Mummy Branco n pe yin ’ Mummy Branco is calling you. Mummy Branco is what we call my Aunty by. Most people know her as my second Mummy, which is very correct. I watch as my Mum answers the call, definitely still sleepy. Her voice and eyes would clear in seconds when I hear her say ‘Ehn!’ in a high pitch. I definitely knew something was wrong. She hurriedly hangs up and shouts that my Aunty’s husband is in the hospital and on life support and we had to leave immediately. I fee

'It has pleased God to call your Dad home'

Photo by Eyasu Etsub on Unsplash 'It has pleased God to call your Dad home'. I went cold. My arms and feet. January 22nd, 2021 I was on my way home from work when my brother called. He asked for our family -read government- hospital card number. It was a very odd question because my dad had retired -as a civil worker- and we no longer used the card for consultation. In fact, we had been told on several occasions that they had taken his card 'off the shelf'. Besides my brother had his own card at the same hospital, being a government staff. So the question was very weird on all fronts. I told him I could not remember the exact number but gave him two or three numbers that came to my head at that time. I asked what the problem was and he said Dad was in the hospital and they needed to get his card for treatment. We hung up and I went home. 6:02PM: My brother sends me a voice note on WhatsApp explaining what h

Welcome to Tobi's Blog!

Search This Blog